do you know me?

The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders,

"there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"

"None," answered little Norman.

"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."

"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"



"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl.

"Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl.

"No." "I'm the principal's daughter."

"And do you know who I am?" asked the boy.

"No," she replied.

"Thank goodness!"

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admission

There was a student who was desirous of taking admission for a study course.
He was smart enough to get through the written test, a GD and was to appear for the personal interview. Later, as the interview progressed, the interviewer found this boy to be bright since he could answer all the questions correctly. The interviewer got impatient and decided to corner the boy.
"Tell me your choice;" said he to the boy, "What's your choice: I shall either ask you ten easy questions or ONE real difficult. Think well before you make up your mind."
The boy thought for a while and said, "My choice is ONE real difficult question."
"Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!" said the man on the opposite side. Tell me: What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted first but he waited for a while and said: "It's the DAY, sir."
"How???????" the interviewer was smiling ("At last, I got you!" he said to himself.)
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
Admission for the course was thus secured.

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newton

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl 
about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a police officer?"
"Yes," I answered, and continued writing the report.
"My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?"
"Yes, that's right," I told her.
"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"





Physics Teacher: "Isaac Newton was sitting under a tree when an apple fell on his head and he discovered gravity. Isn't that wonderful?"
Student: "Yes sir, if he had been sitting in class looking at books like us, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

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snake1 : i am glad that i am not poisonous
snake2 : why ?
snale1 : i just bit my tongue


father : what are your marks like in the school ?
son : they are underwater
father : what  does that mean ?
son they are below c level

teacher : can you tell me what is the unit of electricity ?
student : what ?
teacher : correct 

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LITTLE JIMMY : "My math teacher is crazy". MOTHER: "Why?"

LITTLE JIMMY: "Yesterday she told us that five is 4+1; today she is telling us that five is 3 + 2."


A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy.
 So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?"
"Somebody else's pants."

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homework

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother,
"Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.
 "The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ...
 by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."

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