why are you kidding

In  the Sahara desert there was small community and a leader went there and give speech 
if you give me vote i will built  a bridge for you
listners : but we don't have river here 
leader : don't worry i'll dig the river and built the bridge please vote me 






             marriage expires 
after 3 years kiran is watching his marriage certificate and his wife saw that and asked "what are you doing?" and kiran replied "nothing"  and his wife said you were reading our marriage certificate for half and hour and kiran replied yes i was looking for the expiration date 






                         why are you kidding 
Niran and kiran are two brothers and Niran is elder brother 
Niran: kiran you have to score 95% marks in the board exam 
Kiran: no brother i will score 100% marks 
Niran: why are you kidding?
Kiran: who started first?











 

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dog's food

Kiran went to his best friend's house but his friend was not in the house Niran's friend wife was there so she gave Kiran tea and a plate of biscuit but her dog started to bark at him
kiran : why this dog is barking at me?
Niran's wife : well that biscuit is his food.Don't worry i handle this you better finish it quickly



kiran is at Godabari resturent and had a coffee and while paying bill to the waiter waiter says:  my tips sir
kiran: take it
waiter : sir you are insulting me by giving 1 paisa please give me at least 2
kiran : sorry but i can't insult you twice

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Father's toothbrush

Kiran and Niran are two friends and Niran asked to Kiran: if your father thrashes you, don't you do any thing. well you don't get angry ! 
Kiran : well to control my anger I start to clean the Toilet 
Niran : that's funny but how does that help you to control the anger 
Kiran ; well i use my father's Toothbrush for cleaning the the Toilet 



                                     super market 






In BhatBhataini super market a beautiful girl went on sopping and she brought some stuff and went to the counter 
girl: please check me out now i am in hurry
the cashier watch for that girl for 1 minutes and says" perfect, really beautiful "

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Best Funny Full Forms

1 SUN: surely useless novelties

2 DELL: Deplorable Equipment and Lack Luster

3 HP: Hen Packed

4 IBM: Implicitly Boaring Machines

5 NIIT: Not Interested in IT

6 CTS: Coffee, Tea and Snacks

7 HCL: Hidden Costs and Losses

8 VIP: Very Idiotic Person

9 AOL:American Old Ladies

10 BAR: Buy and Run

11 ATP: All Time Party

12 ADSL: Amazingly Dull Slow Line

13 JAVA: Juvenile Abominable Visual Aesthetics

14 PIG : Preety Indian Girls

15 WWW: Worlds Worst Web

16 BA : Bachelor Again

17 MA: Married Again

18 MBA : Master of bad Activities

19 STUPID : Smart,Tallented,Unique Person in Demand

20 IDIOT : Intelligent Doctor in Operation Threatre

21 USA : Un Satisfied aunty by auncle

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take a look to your wish

there was three young man climbing the mount Everest and they were in trouble. snow was falling so badly so they found a lamp at the top of mountain so one of three rubbed the lamp and the genie came out of lamp and said i will grant you three wishes so say what you want. one of them said i am feeling so much trouble so i want to go home and the one guy disappear and second also said i want to go home and he also disappear and third one says that i am feeling so alone so please i want my friends back so the two friends were back in there

one day one of these three guys was walking in the beach and he found the lantern again and the genie came out and grant him the three wish. by the way he has just lost 10 million money in the casino and he says i want all my money back which i have lost in casino and the genie gave him the money. now second wish he has never love with women in his life  so he wish he would love to the most beautiful lady and that was also come true and at last he has done mistake he saw a orange head bird and  he was happy and says orange head and genie grant his wish by the way he was just happy to see bird but his head was orange head

at last 2 guys among three again found the lantern and he lit the lantern at that time the genie was so angry because of that three friends so he wanted to kill the man but the man was happy because he knew that he will have three wish but the genie says that i will kill you, you three guys make me so angry when i try  to sleep you three friends wake me up know this time i have promised who woke me up i will kill that person so ready to be die and the person says no don't kill me i will do what ever you say i will be your servant please don't kill me please so genie make the man servant

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what a cold blooded police

a senior police officer has said that we have to be  cold blooded cops in the office so two police officer while going out side for investigation one officer was late and when come, he was shaking  so
 1 police officer : why are you shaking like that?
 2 police office  : i just come out of fridge!
 1 police officer : what the hell you were doing there?
 2 police officer : aren't you were there while our boss said that we have to be cold blodded cops


                                        save my life
a 25 years old man run very fast to the police station and he says please arrest me. please save my life and police says what happens. first say and we will do what we have to do. well my wife is after me with the gun please save my life. and the police says why is your wife  after you well i have attempt two round fire to her

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yamaraj in hell

hubby was judge in the court and he was dead and  was taken to the hell by the yamaraj and there he says i should have to be heaven why should i am here in hell  and yamaraj says don't speak, now you have to just chose the room in which you want to spend you life now. so there was three doors and hubby opens first doors and he saw  that people were in chain their legs were ripe in chain and he says no i open the next door and he saw that the people were ripe in the neck and again he says no i will open the next door and he saw that people were eating tea and laughing and he says yes i will stay here. and while he was also taking tea then yamaraj says now tea break is over every body come in head.

   
            money is everything


my grandfather always say look after your health.don't look money only . so i have that things on my mind and when i was in class my health teacher told us health is everything and money is noting and by the same time my purse was stolen in the class room and by the way my health teacher has stolen it

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i like the way you think

Milan was doing some thing in the math class his mind was not in class and the teacher noticed that and ask the question Milan if there are 5 frogs in the well and one jump out from there how many left there "five" replied Milan because frog can't cross the well by jumping 

teacher says " well the answer is four  " but i like the way you are thinking 

Milan says sir i have a question for you if there were three women eating ice cream cones in the shop. one was sucking her cone, second one was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone , which one is married 

teacher nervously replied " well i guess the one sucking the cone."

'no' said Milan " the one with the wedding ring on her finger but i like the way you are thinking 

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scientist and philosopher

once 2 person wants to visit the national park where there was many tigers and other animals so when they were visiting one hungry tiger chase them to eat. among them one was scientist and another was philosopher. 

scientist quickly calculated and said "it's no good trying to outrun it's catching up"

and the philosopher kept a little a head and replied " i am not trying to outrun the tiger, i am trying to outrun you "

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three shardars

once three shardar were sleeping on a bed and there was difficult to sleep three shardars so one of shardar went to sleep in the sofa and when there was some space then one shardar says come know there is space  to sleep come and join

eye problem

once there was a model and she fashioned her self so much one day when she wake up from her bed and she look at the mirror and found herself so ugly her hair was all wiry and frazzled up her skin was all wrinkled and pasty and her face look like corpse so
she went to doctor and ask what happened to her for half an hour doctor says "well i can say you don't have the eyesight problem "

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exam hall

hari was in class 5 and he has his result. in that result he has scored math : 5  science :10  nepali : 25 and soon and his father watched his progress report and ask why you are fail?
son : father due to absent
father : absent... when you were absent ?
son : no dad the boy who sits next to me was absent

cool morals

love your neighbour. but donn't get caught
save water. drink beer and vodka
money is nothing. there is also mastercard and visa card
we should love animals.they are tasty too



                                      

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my age

In india people mainly used train for their travel and one day there was a three women in the box and one of them was 80 another was 60 and 40.while they were talking the women(80) says i am 60 years old and another women(60) says iam 40 and last women with (40) says i am 20. unfortunately there was a young boy of 20 years old on that box and feel infront of three women and says iam child mamaa





one tourist from Nepal  went to visit america and he was completely unknown from that place and when he arrived to that place then he saw very big houses and he try to count the building and one of the man says that what are you doning and the nepalese tourist replied i am counting the buildinng and the man say that you have to pay for that how many building you have count you have to pay 1$ for 1 building and the tourist replied that he had counted 20 block and he paid 20 $ and the tourist says i madee him fool i have counted 40 blocks and i just pay half of it. and now the tourist get hungry and on the outside of the resturent there was written food 12$ meat $ and soup free and the nepali tourist ask is the soup is free and the bar man replied yes it is free and the tourist ordered give me 3 plate of soup and they give the soup and tourist eat all the soup and wake up from there and said soup was really so nice and thank for all and the bar man said your bill is 15$.and the tourist said that was free so i eat. i don't have money he ran away from there

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lovely periodic table

scientist has discover a new element. which we want in our life well that is what ?  just look below

Element name: girl

symbol: gl

Atomic weight: don't dare to ask !

Atomic no(boyfriend no): don't dare to ask other wise you will get the bitter slap

physical properties:  can freeze at anytime,Boils at anything, melts if handled carefully with love, very bitter if mishandeled....!

chemical properties:  highly unstable ,very reactive , possess string affinity for diamond, gold, platinum and other precious items, money reducing agent, volitile when left some one

uses : Mainly used 2 destroy men and playing with  once heart

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soldier

once in the army barek there was a soldier his charactor was so odd. he used to pick up any piece of paper that he found and says "that's not it" and put it down and do that to all paper that he found in the way or any where even in the toilet so the commander noticed that so he call the psychologist and tested nim.
after some times  the psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranded and wrote out discharge from army and the soldier and pick it up smiled and said "this is it "


                                             turtle


once turtle was walking from nepal to india and while at the mean time there was a murder by snail gang so detective police inspector rabbit reached there and asked the turtle if he could explain what has happened  the turtle looked with coonfused and replied "i don't know it all happened so fast "

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